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All Children Can Learn |
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Letters of Understanding
What is a Letter of Understanding?When people communicate, misunderstandings can occur. Not everyone hears the same information in the same way. What we hear is often colored by our personal experiences, cultural influences, and our expectations. Administrators, special ed personnel, teachers, and parents can misunderstand what is being asked of them or what expectations the other party might have. There is a very useful tool that can clarify your understanding of a conversation as well as clarify the other person's position. It is called a letter of understanding. A letter of understanding becomes especially important when verbal communication does not seem to be working. Parents should develop the habit of documenting important conversations, and this letter is an important tool in the advocacy toolbox. Verbal conversations do not hold much credibility during a complaint process or a due process. The written word is the final word. Thank You Notes On a more positive note, letters can be complimentary as well, following up on successes with a heartfelt thank you. Our children require innovative teaching strategies and sometimes require great energy of our teachers. Too often, teachers receive attention only when things are going wrong. It is very important for parents to recognize the importance of positive communication when things are going really well for their child. Teachers need those pats on the back just as much as a child does. They are absolutely thrilled to receive an attractive handwritten note of genuine thanks and recognition. Our son had a teacher who received such a heartfelt note. She told him that in 23 years of teaching she had not received such a note. She was going to put in in her "special treasures box". We also saw to it that such teachers were recognized in writing in front of peers and administrators. It is wonderful to see such efforts recognized by parents and a professional's peers. However, while most of us have the skills to write a heartfelt thank you note, writing a letter of understanding to resolve issues is a skill in itself. Our focus now turns to such a letter and the purposes it can serve. What this letter accomplishes:
The letters should always be polite and as brief as possible. List individually your specific concerns. You cannot get specific answers for vague questions. Repeat what you heard the other party say that you believe was important. You give the other party an opportunity to correct any understanding; however, I do not recall any of the parents I have worked with being told they did not understand something correctly. How friendly the letter is depends on the circumstances. If this is a new situation you just want to be sure the appropriate individuals are aware of the circumstances. If an issue is of long standing, I would include a date by which you request a response. (Your child cannot afford to lose more time in building his or her education.) The letter asks for answers, with a built-in timeline. It should not include irate words that bruise people's egos. "Irate" shows a person is out of control and is never productive in the long run. If you feel a lot of anger I recommend a draft letter, let it sit 48 hours, then tear it up and start from scratch. With this approach, anyone can come on board and do what is needed without feeling they are in a win/lose situation. After all, we want everyone to be winners, especially your child. Click here for a sample letter that is a composite of some real life situations.
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